You are a successful businessperson...

Or maybe not. But we've got lots of them coming here, so if you've spent January procrastinating resolutions then stop reading this.

Well done! Oh, there's still a bit of sand in your hair - do brush it before you attend the slash fiction workshop (£20/£12 conc.) or perhaps Mark Clayton can help you make it in the music industry.

Either way, you have an oppourtunity here, and it would be a shame to waste it!

PS I'm being held hostage, but I must stress I was not forced to write this in any way, shape, or form.